


Toxic

by buttless



Series: Visits to Ritsu [2]
Category: Loveless
Genre: Alcohol, Gen, canon-verse, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 14:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5500523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttless/pseuds/buttless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Ritsu dealing with drunk Soubi.<br/>Soubi has an urge to visit Ritsu after drinking. Under the influence and vulnerable, Soubi expresses his anger and grief to Ritsu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Toxic

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is something I never would have written on my own, based on a prompt. I gave it my all but it was difficult and I don't want to work it much more. I don't think this would ever actually happen, it's out of Soubi's character to do so but I enjoyed searching for a way to make this situation plausible through writing. Advice and critique is appreciated!  
> Thank you for the prompt anon!

Lately Soubi had found a certain freedom. Seimei restrained him a lot in the past, giving him freedom only to keep him out of his hair. In retrospect, during the time that Seimei kept him at arm’s length- like ordering him to enroll at a University during the day- Seimei was likely fraternizing with Nisei. Ritsuka on the other hand, asked little of Soubi. Ritsuka was busy with his school life and his friends. Soubi spent time with his little Sacrifice most every day but it was often brief. And Ritsuka never really had any tasks for him like Seimei used to. It really was a wonder that they were brothers raised in the same household, Soubi sometimes dared to think.

With that freedom, Soubi did little. He spent more time with his paintings, missed fewer classes, went out with Kio, and occasionally found himself at home drinking. The Zero boys had not come back from Nagisa yet- though Soubi had a sense that they would. A hope, really, it was a bit lonely at home now that he didn’t have them. Another thing Soubi had found himself doing with his new freedom was visiting Seven Voices. The incident there with Seimei was the first time Soubi had been back in about four years. Seimei would never have allowed Soubi any where near Ritsu. Even though Seimei spent a lot of time there because of the council he never took Soubi. Soubi didn’t mind that really, he had been furious with Ritsu. But as things grew more complex Soubi began to feel a strange longing for his old master.

The first time he went, he had an urge to go late at night. He knew Ritsuka wouldn’t really mind if he explained it to him properly, and Ritsuka wouldn’t know anyway. In the end, Soubi never told him. And he went back to the school several more times without telling Ritsuka. He didn’t tell because he felt as though it were a betrayal to leave his master and visit Ritsu on his own. He didn’t quite know what it was that made him miss that old man, but he hated that he did. Either way, he gave in to it.

Soubi pushed the bothersome thoughts out of his head and went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of sake Kio had left him. Ritsuka wasn’t going to call tonight. He told Soubi not to come because he was going to play with his classmates. He definitely wouldn’t care enough to call tonight; he was too busy to think about Soubi.

Ritsu’s days now were short and boring. He liked to be constantly at work, but his coworkers kept it from him because of his health. He found it astonishing that the place could still be running with such a relaxed attitude going on. Nagisa was usually at his heel but for the past few weeks the second generation of Zeros had come back home and her time was more taken with them. She had been assisting Ritsu as usual, and then running off to deal with them. Without Nagisa to quarrel with tonight, Ritsu was growing listless. He would, of course, soon regret that thought. Because what Ritsu didn’t know as he settled down into his living room chair with a record playing softly, was that Soubi was on his way down the hallway of Seven Voices Academy.

The drinks had gone to his head, he recognized that. Soubi walked through the hallways with a slower pace, the ground felt like the floor of a ship at sea. Ritsu, he needed to see Ritsu. He needed Ritsu to apologize, it was his turn to grovel now. Soubi had driven to Goura like this, he didn’t have a problem with it when he left, he rationalized that he had had a little bit too much to drink but the roads would be mostly empty anyway. By some miracle he had made it safely.

Two voices were fighting in Soubi’s mind. One told him that he was drunk and he shouldn’t let Ritsu see him like this. ‘Think of all the times Ritsu drank too much around you, think about what he did to you back then, do you want to be like that?’ The other voice told him to hold his ground, he was uninhibited now, so now was the time to confront Ritsu.

There was commotion at his door that at first faded into the tune of his record. Ritsu’s mind immediately jumped to some kids pulling a prank on him. He rose from the couch already full of anger, headed towards the door. ‘Damn brats aren’t allowed in this wing, the hell do they think they’re up to? Ungrateful little…’

“Sensei, open up!”

That voice… was it?

“Sensei get- goddamn out here!”

Ritsu rose an eyebrow. It really way Soubi-kun’s voice… but at the same time… it wasn’t. Something was very different. For starters, Soubi-kun was yelling at him. Ritsu swung the door open, frowning. 

Soubi immediately went for it, pushing Ritsu away with an outstretched arm as he stormed into the room. Ritsu was sputtering and trying to understand the situation.

“Soubi-kun?” the older man ventured.

“I… Ritsu, you know this is…” Soubi paused after his failed outburst and pressed his hand against his forehead, telling himself to think and form a complete sentence.

Ritsu stepped back, away from Soubi, and turned the light switch on by the door. The overhead light flooded the room, for Soubi.

“Ritsu you’re a goddamn asshole, you know.” Soubi finally spit out the words in a rush like he was pressed for time. His voice was filled more with sass than malice. He sounded embarrassingly childish. 

“What is the meaning of this Soubi-kun?” Ritsu was feeling a strange sense of nervousness when Soubi burst in. Soubi was stronger than him. Unbound to him as his master Soubi could not be counted on to remain obedient. “Soubi-kun, do I have to remind you that I cannot see? You cannot count on me to observe whatever visual cues you are giving me. Is something wrong? Are you hurt? Honestly, Soubi-kun I haven’t got the slightest clue what has got you acting up like this.”

Soubi grabbed the edge of the couch for support, the ground was still swaying. Ritsu’s words were pissing him off, Ritsu just wanted to control him. “Ritsu you can’t just- just control me like that.”

Ritsu had had an idea since Soubi walked into the room, what might be going on. “Soubi-kun…” He approached Soubi slowly and placed his hand on the man’s cheek. In his mind he very much considered Soubi still a foolish boy. Soubi’s labored breath betrayed him, Ritsu could smell the sake on his breath as soon as he approached him. Soubi didn’t react in anger to the touch as he normally would have. Instead he allowed Ritsu’s touch. Touch was something that he craved, a truth he didn’t often reveal sober. Especially when he was with Seimei. Seimei never touched him. His disgust with Soubi was hurtful. But Ritsuka didn’t act that way. Seimei ordered Soubi to love Ritsuka so Soubi treated him like he loved him. People who loved kissed and held hands. Seimei must have known that Ritsuka would be lonely once he left. Soubi was glad that Ritsuka would sometimes hold him, and would let Soubi give him little kisses. But that wasn’t much contact and Soubi had to be careful, Ritsuka was just a young boy.

“Come, Soubi-kun.” Ritsu placed his hand on Soubi’s back and led him to the couch to sit down. Soubi stumbled a bit but reached the couch in his half paced motion.

It was so strange to experience Soubi inebriated; Ritsu didn’t ever expect to take that in. He was weak, and letting himself be very vulnerable. In fact, Ritsu had half a mind to take advantage of him. Soubi clearly didn’t think Ritsu was dangerous now that he was blind and that irritated Ritsu. He would love to show the boy that he was still just as powerful as he had always been. What kept him was the unbridled anger Soubi expressed at the door.

As for Soubi, thoughts were whirling through his head. He was angry at this man. This man had betrayed his trust once. Four long years Soubi had this brewing inside of him, and never once during that time did he have the freedom to come here and tell Ritsu how he felt. Ritsu didn’t know what that was like. Ritsu didn’t have any clue what he did to Soubi. Eternally dedicated to his master, Soubi’s brain was wired by Ritsu in a way that he wasn’t able to second guess the power held over him. When Seimei said stay Soubi stayed. Even when Seimei left, Soubi stayed. That power bound him and pulled at him everyday. But Seimei was gone now and Ritsuka was his master. 

Ritsuka would want him to confront Ritsu. Ritsuka didn’t want Soubi to have lingering feeling of anger. If Ritsuka knew… If Ritsuka knew what Soubi went through he would be so upset. Ritsuka would cry if he knew how Ritsu and Seimei treated him. 

“Soubi-kun? Soubi-kun?” Soubi was spacing out in his thoughts, leaving Ritsu alone in the room. 

Soubi stood back up, having only just sat down on the couch. Anger filled in the blank expression that had been on his face. He began yelling, but his voice soon tapered into what was barely more then a whimper. “You fucked up Minami Ritsu. You messed up, for once in your goddamn life will you just admit it?! I am a failure and it is your fault! You gave me away, you told me my master would be my god and the most important part of my life. You told me I would live and die with my master. Now I am a broken shell. I am useless without Seimei.” Shockingly coherent. His voice held the hesitation brought on by the alcohol, but not a single stutter plagued it. 

Ritsu was frozen in place, he didn’t know how to react. He had made sure he would never have to ‘parent’ such a child. He never anticipated Soubi showing up in his living room drunk, however. “Soubi-kun please. Don’t raise your voice at me.” A useless statement, as Soubi had already ceased yelling.

He kept on, “Why did you have to give me away? These past… these past years have been so difficult. I miss living here with you Sensei. Sensei I thought I was going to fight for you, that’s what I always thought. Seimei thinks I’m disgusting Sensei, and Ritsuka… Ritsuka does too. Not as much, but he does too, I know it.” Soubi was sobbing, his body curled up into itself. His hands wiped at the tears and snot.

“Don’t make me go back, Sensei. Don’t make me leave you.” All of his pain was coming forward in the rawest sense. He felt pressed for time, in fear that he could be called back away from this place. It wasn’t safe with Ritsu but it was all he had ever known for most of his life. This was where he belonged. Outside of Seven Voices everything was so difficult. People stared at him and moved away from him on the streets, here he at least had someone to come home to. Someone reliable. Ritsu was nothing if not reliable. 

Ritsu had to do something, he couldn’t stand for Soubi to be like this. Yes, in the past Ritsu would have whipped a crying Soubi. But it wasn’t the past, many things had happened in the span of Soubi’s life. Ritsu no longer had a Fighter and though he knew he couldn’t bear to replace her with Soubi he regretted giving the boy to Seimei. Ritsu reached out and gingerly took Soubi into his arms. Soubi was hesitant but allowed Ritsu’s embrace.

“Soubi-kun you can stay as long as you need to…”


End file.
